as i lay me down
heaven hear me now
i'm lost without a cause
after giving it my all

winter storms have come
and darkened my sun
after all that i've been through
who on earth can i turn to?

i look to you
after all my strength is gone
in you i can be strong
i look to you
and when melodies are gone
in you i hear a song
i look to you

about to lose my breath
there's no more fighting left
sinking to rise no more
searching for that open door

and every road that i've taken
led to my regret
and i don't know if i'm gonna make it
nothing to do but lift my head

i look to you
and when all my strength is gone
in you i can be strong
i look to you
and when melodies are gone
in you i hear a song

my levees are broken
my walls are coming, crumbling down on me
all the rain is falling, defeat is calling
i need you to set me free
take me far away from the battle
i need you to shine on me

i look to you
after all my strength is gone
in you i can be strong
i look to you
and when melodies are gone
in you i hear a song
i look to you

amber riley
glee 2x03 grilled cheesus
original by whitney houston

it's october again, leaves are coming down
one more year's come and gone
and nothing's changed at all
wasn't i supposed to be someone
face the things that i've been running from

i've become much too good at being invisible
i'm an expert at play it safe and keep it cool
but i swear this isn't who i'm meant to be
i refuse to let my life roll over me

let me feel, i don't care if i break down
let me fall, even if i hit the ground
and if i cry a little, die a little
at least i know i lived
just a little

i wanna be someone
i wanna be somebody
who can face the things that i've been running from

let me feel, i don't care if i break down
let me fall, even if i hit the ground
and if i cry a little, die a little
at least i know i lived

it's october again
leaves are coming down
one more year's come and gone
and nothing's change at all.

let me fall
bethany joy galeotti
one tree hill

Highway run into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind

Restless hearts sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love along the wire

They say that the road
Ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line it's been you and me
And loving a music man
Ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh boy, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully.

Circus life under the big top world
We all need the clowns to make us smile

Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am lost without you

And being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully.

I'm still yours
Faithfully.

faithfully
journey (as covered in glee)

dollhouse: epitaph two, the return

Thus marks the end to yet another Joss Whedon show. Oh, the promise it had with its super-cool premise, before too many cooks with all sorts of ideas overspiced and ruined the broth.

Perhaps if Whedon had been left to his own devices, the show might've turned out better than it did. Which leaves the question, is there a future for a Whedon project on network TV?

But industry speculation aside, Epitaph Two rounded off the series with an imbalanced perspective, and way too many twists that I simply cannot buy, even stretching my belief of the story to it's fuller extent.

(Here be spoilers.)

I liked seeing Tudyk's Alpha, until he turned out to be a hippie active version of Adele. Then he just became a useless five-second subplot.

Killing off Paul Ballard was totally just to give Echo some sort of emotional moment. And also putting him in her head? That puts all sorts of weird scenarios in my head. What's she gonna do, date herself?

Topher's EMP was seriously way too deus ex machina for me. I can just imagine the creative process to it: "Shit. The show's been cancelled. Hey! How's about Topher creating a magic bomb that resets everything?"

This episode turned out to be pretty disappointing all in all. That said, the series wasn't totally without merit. I mean, I did follow it through for a reason. And a big reason is Enver Gjokaj. No matter what persona he took, whether it be Adele's British honeypot, Victor the blank doll, Anthony the man, or (my personal favourite) Topher Brink, Gjokaj totally killed the role. Plus I love his chemistry with Dichen Lachman. Too bad he was so often underplayed.

Olivia Williams grew on me as easily the most complex character on the show. Evolving from the cold bitch of the Dollhouse to the nurturing shepherd of the lost dolls, Williams' Adele provided an interesting perspective to the story. Her scenes with Fran Kranz's Topher in the Epitaph episodes were heartbreaking, and gave a more humanitarian side to Topher too.

Despite its disappointments, I still believe in Joss Whedon. So. Here's hoping he'll find a better home for any future projects he should choose to venture into (Like USA with its outstanding choices of White Collar and Burn Notice and In Plain Sight :) where he will finally be able to develop an outstanding series with people and stories we can all fall in love with.

i and love and you

Finally caught up on a number of the lower priority shows, one of which is One Tree Hill. For most of the season so far (and really, the series of late), the show's been a little draggy and too mired in their many convoluted stories. But the fact that the music is still excellent keeps me going. And once in a while, there comes an episode where something reminds me of why I always used to love this show.

Of the season thus far, that episode was the latest, I and Love and You. As the title of the show (and the Avett Brothers song) goes, this was a story of love. In fact, it was five stories of love.

There's the man and woman sharing a name as husband and wife, but for whom love is just another lie masquerading as truth between them.

There's the couple in love and living together, unsure of what commitment they're getting from the other party, or if there even is a future for them.

There's the married couple with their great love story facing one of the worst crisis to hit a marriage.

There's the couple at the end of their marriage, both lost, not knowing where or how the end began.

But most heartbreaking of all, there's the couple for whom it ended all too suddenly before it's time, leaving one broken and all alone, terrified of the day when he'd wake up and forget her voice.

Written by series creator Mark Schwahn and directed by series star James Lafferty (Nathan Scott), the stories were told in such a beautiful way I could even ignore the cheesy-assed Dan Scott show, and find myself growing to like a few of the new characters a little bit more.

Great songs of the ep:
Angel Flying Too Close To The Groun by Willie Nelson
I and Love and You by The Avett Brothers
Belle of the Boulevard by Dashboard Confessional

TV's Top 10 Dateable Guys

Just on a whim and after reading Seat42F's dateable girl list, here's my list.

Rules:
1. Can't be married ('cause that's just wrong)
2. Can't be in high school ('cause hello paedophilia)
3. Can't be robots or dead or not human ('cause that's creepy)
(I'm cool with the workaholic thing. Grins.)

So in no particular order:
1. Zachary Levi: Chuck from Chuck
True, the Intersect in his brain might have its disturbing moments when he flashes and has to run off to save the world (or as the season finale just revealed: he's also now able to pull out kungfu moves with a flash) but this Nerd Herder has a geeky sweet cutie about him that just makes me wanna cuddle up. If he wasn't totally in love with Sarah, I would totally go for him.

2. David Boreanaz: Seeley Booth from Bones
He's tongue-in-cheek funny, great at reading people, wicked cool with a gun, has a softie heart, and is really quite hot. Of course, he needs to man up for Bones, but if that doesn't happen...

3. Kevin McKidd: Dr. Owen Hunt from Grey's Anatomy
He's sweet and brilliant and his sad eyes just breaks hearts. But the man has issues he needs to work out because it's just not cool to go around choking people.

4. Nathan Fillion: Richard Castle from Castle
He's a bestselling author = brilliant = rich. He's like the sugar daddy I'm always going on about, but smarter. And much, much funnier. Plus he takes time out to play laser tag with Alexis, and that's really just too cute for words.

5. Tim Daly: Dr. Pete Wilder from Private Practice
I was kinda on the fence about Pete, but having finished Season 2, he now falls under a new light. Sure, he has his angsty moments, but he's also been such a honey about fighting for Violet and just being there for Addison (who btw was crazy for the Noah thing, which seems to have disappeared in season 3).

6. Frederick Weller: Marshall Mann from In Plain Sight
U.S. Marshal Marshall Mann with a head filled with all sorts of weird trivia has his funny and adorable moments, has hilarious wise-cracks, and carries such a sweet torch for Mary McCormack's Mary Shepherd that you really can't help but go awwwww.

7. Lee Pace: Ned the Piemaker from Pushing Daisies
So, okay, he's got a weirdass talent (and I'm not talking about pie-making), but he uses it wisely (most of the time) and he's very very sweet to Chuck and Olive and Aunts Lily and Vivian. Also, he has one of the most adorable puppy dog looks around. I love puppy dog looks. They make me go all soft and gooey inside.

8. Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother
Barney of the outrageous antics, whacked-out bro-code with an inner softie re Robin Scherbatsky would be perfect. If he wasn't such a serial womanizer. But let's see how this Robin and Barney thing goes. Who knows, he just might've found the one to stop the womanizing.

9. Jensen Ackles: Dean Winchester from Supernatural
Hot car, hot dude, kick-ass fighting skills. Although that angel-vessel thing is kinda freaky. And the commitment-phobe thing probably wouldn't work either. But if (and when) he saves the world from the apocalypse, that could be overlooked.

10. Ben McKenzie: Ryan Atwood from The O.C.
So I know I said no high school kids. But let's put it this way, by the fourth season he wasn't in high school anymore. And I really did like Season 4 Ryan, especially without Marissa destroying his life in all sorts of ways.

The if-they-weren't-married-slash-dead-slash-not-human list:
1. Patrick Dempsey: Dr. Derek "McDreamy" Shepherd in Grey's Anatomy
He's one of the top neurosurgeons in TV Land. That's intelligent on a brilliant level. I mean, sure he's had his dark moments. But he's loyal, sweet, has an adorable puppy dog face (awww!) and has a running joke re perfect hair. I'm not sure if the post-it wedding counts, but let's just put him on the married list anyway.

2. Matthew Rhys: Kevin Walker in Brothers & Sisters
Kevin of the gorgeous blue eyes, puppy dog face (awww!) and razor-sharp wit would be perfect if he wasn't gay. And married. To Scotty. Who can compete with Scotty?

3. Scott Patterson: Luke Danes in Gilmore Girls
Luke was just the sweetest to Lorelai and Rory, despite his somewhat cantankerous exterior, and just totally crushable. However, I choose to believe that in the time since GG ended, Luke and Lorelai have finally tied the knot and moved into her house that they'd renovated to be theirs in Season 6, pre-Anna and pre-Christopher. (Although they'd probably have redone it to remove all traces of Chris.)

4. Bradley Whitford: Danny Tripp in Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
He may have (a lot of) issues, but he's funny, loyal and sweet. His love confession to Jordan may have bordered on stalkerhood but it was such an "awwww" moment. His engagement to Jordan and adopting her baby girl makes him as good as married in my books. But then again, he could go on the dateable list by being Josh Lyman. Winks.

6. Misha Collins: Castiel in Supernatural
Castiel may have wicked cool shadowy wings and he may also be really rather hot. But. He's an angel. 'Nuff said.

7. The yummy vampires of Buffy/Angel, Moonlight, True Blood and potentially The Vampire Diaries
Part of my whole thing for vampire shows and vampire characters is kinda shot down by the fact that they're all dead. Or undead. Look at the classic human-vampire love story aka Buffy and Angel, TV's greatest star-crossed lovers that put Romeo and Juliet to shame. As yummy as a vampire might be (and there have been plenty yummy vamps around), the truth is they're still immortally undead, can't spend time in the sun and have disturbing eating habits. So dating them means you'll end up looking older, lose your tan and never go to any decent restaurant. So all vamps go on the just-look-but-do-not-date list.

The CW's preview of its new show The Vampire Diaries is up on Youtube, and, oh my oh my oh my, Ian Somerhalder is just smokin' as Damon Salvatore.



Wasn't too surprised to see a vampire show on a FTA network lineup considering the success of True Blood (dark and creepily cool) and Twilight (cotton candy for the brain - fluffy and of little substance).

According to my research (ie What Wikipedia Says), The Vampire Diaries is an adaptation of a YA fiction series. From 1991.

Move over, Bella. Elena was around wayy before you even popped on the radar.

My interest now sufficiently piqued, I hunted around for the books and, er, it's not great. In fact, it's kinda crap. BUT. The TV series apparently bears little resemblance to the books, so that's a good start. Also, there's Ian Somerhalder. With his piercing blue eyes. And a dark twisted sense of humour that just makes him oh-so-charming.

Something tells me I'm going to like the villain of this series much, much more than the hero. Heh. And let's hope the show lives up to the trailer (because Twilight certainly didn't).

(In other news, the New Moon teaser trailer is out and while am still not blown away by anything, Jake's morph has a way better special fx look than Edward's retarded glittery skin.)

updates

Introducing my new internet addictions:
- The Penny Arcade Comics by Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins. Absolutely love their tongue-in-cheek snarky comments on all things techy, geeky and nerdy.
- Someecards for the words you've always wanted to say, but simply couldn't.
- And, of course, YouTubing the previously mentioned absolutely fantabulously amazing PS22 Chorus.

In movie news, saw Angels and Demons, which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be (and certainly better than Da Vinci Code since I actually stayed awake all the way). Plus it has Tom Hanks and Ewan McGregor and music by Hans Zimmer, so yay.

There's apparently going to be a Toy Story 3, which is weird on so many levels. Also, seriously can NOT wait to see Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. And finally, Yesterday Was A Lie looks like a super cool modern-day noir film, and I will probably have to stalk Borders/Gramaphone/HMV for its DVD since I doubt Singapore would show such a cool indie film.

In related news, Two Steps From Hell is apparently the composers behind the music for the Star Trek and Up trailers among others. That's a pretty cool gig.

And as we move into the month of June (aka the all-out shoot month), my life as I know it dips from miniscule to nonexistent, so this blog will probably be less updated (though it wasn't even very updated to begin with). However, having discovered TweetSG and the wonders of text-Tweeting, my Twitter will probably see more action.

(Speaking of, Jeffrey Donovan just tweeted that Burn Notice returns in a week! Yay!)

Just finished reading Mike Gayle's Life Of The Party which was both sad and awesome, while listening to my superawesomesupercoolsuperfab limited edition of Jason Mraz's We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things CD (more here). Am now off to watch Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist since it's due in three days. Ta.

the post-exam post-uni update

So. Am officially done with school (for the forseeable future anyway).
Feels kinda nondescript. Might be due to the lack of sleep from mugging like a maniac into the wee hours of the past five nights. Hm.

On the bright side, am starting to catch up with all my shows again:
Chuck as usual, was hilariously fabulous, with Chuck vs. the Colonel giving one hell of a game-changing twist that just ROCKS. How can NBC even think of cancelling it for Jay Leno. Tsk.

Brothers & Sisters was SO funny. I was just cracking up throughout the ep S3X. Especially in all the scenes that had Kevin and/or Sarah. Such excellent comedic timing from Matthew Rhys and Rachel Griffiths. Also a couple of surprises over with Nora and, er, someone. On the serious side, the drama thickens with Kitty and Robert (sighs.), and with Ryan (the seedy, shady boy. tsk. am not liking him.), while Tommy's story is resolved.

Life served a gripping season finale. One tied up one loose end out of the many conspiracy threads of Charlie Crewes, but opened up a whole new can of worms with just one encounter. I will be very upset if this gets cancelled too. What is with NBC's sudden new passion for Jay Leno?! Gee whiz.

Pushing Daisies returns (at last!) with another fabulous eppy, Window Dressed To Kill. Lots of Ned and Olive bits, interspersed with cute Chuck and Emerson bits, before popping a WHAT?-moment at the end, all with a dash of colourful panache and intelligently quirky humour. Sighs. Can't believe ABC canned the genius of PD.

Actually, can't believe how many excellent shows are getting scrapped while strange ones are sticking around. What is with the American audience. Tsk.

In other news, the photo blog is up at The Pictorial Life.

Okay. Caught up on top shows? Check. Twittered for the day? Check. Blog post done? Check.

And am now going to crash. Ta.

200 hours of crime scene investigating

Was catching up a little on CSI: Mothership and finally saw the 200th episode, Mascara.

(And, wow, just occurred to me the faces of CSI have really changed over these 200 episodes. Not the aging-over-nine-seasons change, but that some aren't there anymore, and those that are were offering blue or red pills or being a telempathic mutant way back when it began).

(Also, sudden recall of watching a S1 ep in TV Studies earlier this year. Wow. They really have aged.)

Anyways. Considering it's episode 200, you'd think there would be more fanfare than just unusual opening titles. The episode itself was oddly slow-paced, seeming to take a psuedo-reality-tv feel in its exploration of the lucha libre subculture. Directed by William Friedkin (of omg, The Exorcist.), the show had some cool artistic shots and interesting editing, but it basically lost everything that was interesting about CSI.

(Although props must be given to Laurence Fishburne for excellent acting this ep, and for an overall fitting into and improving the growing-stale dynamism of the cast this season.)

But other than the whole realization of "It's 200 episodes!", this episode itself delivered a severe disappointment. You'd think they'd bring back William Peterson or something instead of some weird artistic thing, but hey, whatevs.

(On a wholly unrelated topic, I am way too hooked on Twitter than is possibly sane or good, but I take heart that I'm in the company of the likes of Neil Gaiman, Stephen Fry, and newly-joined Oprah Winfrey.)

Check out the awesome new True Blood season 2 poster! :)
Can't wait till exams are over so I can catch up to it properly (and wait excitedly for season 2!)

Yay! New Glee promo! Absolutely cannot wait for this show (May 19!), esp since a bunch of musical thesps are involved in it.
(Like starring Lea Michele from Spring Awakening, and guest starring Kristen Chenoweth and Victor Garber. Woot!)

Booth apologizes to Bones for calling her so smart, she's "creepy"
Booth (forlornly): Look, we just gotta stop hanging out with geniuses, because you're going to figure out I'm really stupid.
Bones (pragmatically): What? Don't worry about that. I figured out a long time ago how stupid you really are.

HAHA. I love Booth and Bones :)

rediscovery: gilmore girls

Ah, the good old times. I miss Lorelai. And Rory. And Luke. And Jess. And Lane and her band. And Sookie. Sometimes Richard and Emily (but only sometimes). Maybe Logan.

I take that back. Let's just leave it with sometimes-R&E.

regression

TV Studies seems to be all about the old school. Seriously. I think the most recent show we've seen in class this whole sem was 24, and it wasn't even a recent episode. It was the pilot from 2001.

Don't get me wrong, I like most of the shows we see. Like Six Feet Under (absolutely adore Peter Krause). And Paddy Chayefsky's Network (referenced in the pilot of Studio 60). And I got to re-live ER during the George Clooney (and vastly younger Noah Wyle) days. Plus we got to see Twin Peaks, which I've been trying to find on DVD for ages.

Once in awhile, though, we get the occasional cheese factor with shows like The Cosby Show. I thought Cosby was gonna be it for cheese for the class.

And then today happened.

First, we saw a snippet of Marilyn Monroe doing "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. That was just fine by me since I adore movies from that era.

And then we went through Madonna's Immaculate Collection of music videos where she pays homage to Marilyn with "Material Girl", purrs about the purity of being "Like A Virgin", and dances about in bondage-like leather in "Open Your Heart".

I thought I'd stepped in a time warp black hole and got sucked back into the eighties.

After doing a rather bizarre analysis of Madonna's various videos, I hoped we'd move on to other more contemporary shows. Instead, we regressed further with Captain Kirk and Spock.

That's right, folks. Star Trek, the original from 1967. I bet all the Trekkies out there are weeping with pleasure.

Despite the extremely high cheese quotient, it was pretty novel to see William Shatner in his very (very) young Capt Kirk persona, especially since I only remember him as the outrageous Denny Crane in Boston Legal. And all covered in Furby-like Tribbles.

The mind just boggles.

Seriously. Shouldn't we be studying current shows? Like How I Met Your Mother. Or Heroes (even though season 3's been rather rubbishy.) Or Studio 60. Or The West Wing. Seriously. Sorkin shows have tons of formalist analysis stuff.

I mean, really. Is it that hard to study TV trends in shows that came out, oh, say, within the last three years?

welcome to the dollhouse

Ah, it's good to have a Joss Whedon show back on the air. No one beats Joss Whedon with his unconventional shows. First it was Buffy (and Angel by association), then Serenity, a sidestep with Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and now Dollhouse.

Eliza Dushku plays a young woman called Echo, a member of a group of people known as "Actives" or "Dolls." The Dolls have had their personalities wiped clean so they can be imprinted with any number of new personas, including memory, muscle memory, skills, and language, for different assignments (referred to as engagements). The new persona is not an original creation, however, but an amalgam of different, existing personalities. The end result incorporates some of the flaws, not just the strengths, of the people used as templates. The Actives are then hired out for particular jobs -- crimes, fantasies, and the occasional good deed. On engagements, Actives are monitored internally (and remotely) by Handlers. In between tasks, they are mind-wiped into a child-like state and live in a futuristic dorm/lab, a hidden facility nicknamed "The Dollhouse." The story follows Echo, who begins, in her mind-wiped state, to become self-aware.
[Courtesy of Wikipedia's Dollhouse page]

Having just seen the pilot ep, my excitement for the series now knows no bounds. And apparently Joss Whedon has the next five years of the series planned out, so here's hoping it gets the full five years to complete the story and not leave us tragically hanging.

Incidentally, the theme song sounds awesome.

the thing about starting new shows

So you know how it is when there's this TV show going on for a few years now, and many people have been raving about it and telling you to watch it, but you don't because it's already in season four and that's a lot of catching up to do, and you're not a huge fan of sitcoms (other than Friends. Nothing beats Friends.) and you're thinking everyone's raved about it so it's gonna be a downer when you actually watch it?

Well, apparently How I Met Your Mother really lives up to expectations. I mean, seriously. Neil Patrick Harris as Barney alone is enough to tickle me silly. The lines are hilarious and the characters are rather lovable, even (or maybe especially) Barney with his Lemon Law, hookers, and complete disregard of human decency.

And now that I'm nearly done with season one, I can't wait to find season two. And three. And catch up to four.

Shoot. So much for not starting a new show.

But HIMYM really is quite legendary. :p

rehashing the oc season one, part two

Gosh rewatching season one made me remember how much I hate Oliver Trask, the smug bastard. Poor Ryan.

rediscovery: the o.c., season one

So, decided to pull out season one of The O.C. when my iTunes shuffled to Joseph Arthur's "Honey and the Moon", which any self-respecting O.C. fan would know is the soundtrack to one of the many trademark moments of Ryan looking out the car window as he leaves the Cohen house. Can't believe I forgot how much I really enjoyed season one, particularly the quippy quotes:

The first meeting:
Marissa: "Who are you?"
Ryan: "Whoever you want me to be."

The catchphrase that made the show:
Luke: (after beating up Ryan) "Welcome to the O.C., bitch."

Sandy on fatherhood:
Sandy: "The minute you were born I knew that I would never take another easy breath again without knowing you were safe."
Seth: "So I'm like asthma?"

Sandy and Kirsten take Ryan in:
Ryan: "What if it doesn't work? What if something happens and you guys change your mind?"
Sandy: "Like what? You steal a car? You burn down a house? You beat up the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend."

Seth on being a Cohen:
Seth: "Dude, you're a Cohen now. Welcome to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt."
[And later, after Ryan gets punched by -who else- Luke]
"Wow. You just got your butt kicked and you didn't even fight back. Dude, you really are a Cohen."

And all this from the first four episodes. Ah, the good old season one days.

Alrighty, on to episode five :)

"yes, but i have a coupon."

So. Now that my exams are over, I've been catching up on Supernatural, which is turning out to be even better than before. And incredibly tongue-in-cheek hilarious too.

Take the black-and-white ep Monster Movie which spoofs old horror movies, where Dean and Sam chase a shapeshifter who's killing people with old-school monsters like Dracula, werewolves and mummies. My fave scene? Dracula and the pizza boy. Enjoy the laughs.