I'd catch a grenade for you
Throw my hand on a blade for you
I'd jump in front of a train for you
You know I'd do anything for you
I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes I would die for you baby
But you won't do the same.

grenade
bruno mars

First kiss, first touch, first time you ever said it back
When I close my eyes I still remember
Too much, too fast, too good to ever make it last
And when I woke up you were gone

Now I keep dreaming of falling back to sleep
'Cause I know you will be waiting there for me
And every breath keeps me praying for the night
'Cause I know you're on the other side
But I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
Since you went away I'm wide awake

Last hope, last chance, last time I ever felt alive
Was before the morning pulled you under
Tonight too close to lose the only thing that I
Ever believed could save me now

Now I keep dreaming of falling back to sleep
'Cause I know you will be waiting there for me
And every breath keeps me praying for the night
'Cause I know you're on the other side
But I'm wide awake
I can't escape
I'm wide awake.

joe mcelderry

aftermath.

so what happens next?

My 2010 Christmas wishes:
To have nicer easier days than the long crappy ones I've been having.
To have time to pause and take a breath instead of constantly racing to catch up.
To stop waiting, wishing, hoping for what cannot be and to finally, finally let go.
To make a decision for the next step.
To stop falling apart and breaking into a million pieces.
To be wiser with who I call my friends.
To know when to take a chance and when to play it safe.
To have a better Christmas in 2011. (Although really any Christmas would be better than this year's.)
To be able to look back and feel satisfaction instead of exhaustion.
To be happier.

i'm steadily being driven insane.

I don't know if I'm being a perfectionist and demanding too much of others, or if people around me are just so fucking lazy. Seriously.

Does it take so much effort to keep track of paperwork? Maybe if you weren't playing games on facebook every fucking day you might be able to, oh I don't know, do your goddamn job?? And incidentally, going on holiday without handing over your work to us is just PERFECT. Because now when we need to know what's been done, we have to ask everyone to help us out and look like perfect morons doing it. So, thanks. Working with you is a SWELL experience.

And let's all be as considerate as you. Just gabbing non-stop while I'm desperately rushing to finish up my work. At 7 freaking pm. I know you want to go home. Just GO already so I can actually do my work in peace.

Good god. Just kill me now why don't you.

okay seriously. you continually confuse me.

somewhere over that rainbow

no one thought i was good enough for you
except for you
don't let them be right
after all that we've been through
'cause somewhere over that rainbow
there's a place for me
a place with you

in every frame upon our wall
lies a face that's seen it all
through ups and downs and then more downs
we helped each other off the ground
no one knows what we've been through
making it ain't making it without you

maybe i'm not but you're all i got left to believe in
don't give up on me
i'm about to come alive
and i know that it's been hard
and it's been a long time coming
don't give up on me
i'm about to come alive

train